The Sperm Donor Waiting Game

I love living in New Zealand, I really love it, it is my home.  And it’s a beautiful country in so many ways, It is where my best friends live, and it is where my goddaughter and her little sister live and I wouldn’t change living near them all for anything.

It is where we have elected our youngest female Prime Minister, making history, and she herself has just recently had a baby, and is currently on parental leave for 6 weeks, before she returns to running the country.   This beautiful country I live in allows new parents to take 22 weeks paid maternity leave so mums (or dads) can stay at home and bond with their new baby – not all countries have this option, so we are lucky in that aspect.

All that love aside, there are days that I wish more than anything that I lived in a country where sperm donation was readily available.  This country I love so much is small, which means that donor sperm is not like you see in the movies where you can flip through the book and pick out your chosen sperm beau.  Our waitlist for sperm donors is sooooo bloody long.

The wait itself is excruciating!  But it’s the unknown wait time that is the really sucky part!     I wish they could give a definitive date but instead when you see the fertility doctor and they finally agree to put you on the wait list, all you get told is on average it takes between 12-24 months but there are no guarantees and it could take longer or it could take less.   Basically it feels like trying to win lotto, you are only in with a chance if you buy a ticket but the ticket doesn’t mean that you win.

So far I have been on the waitlist for around 10 months, at first the idea of the wait list wasn’t a problem but as time goes on it becomes a drag.  There are days that I really struggle with not knowing if I’ll ever get to at least try and become a momma.

I’m 3 weeks away from my 39th Birthday, the clock is ticking faster and faster and time is running out, I know that, the stats know that. And on more and more days it feels like an unachievable dream, but each day I try and remind myself that life is good.

Will I ever get to be one of the lucky few that gets to conceive and spend those precious 22 weeks at home with my little bundle of joy?


Even miracles take a little time


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